“Will you sing for us?” my friend asked.
“Sing? Me? Are you serious?” I answer.
“Yes, you – its Jam Night after all.”
I stand up, thinking of how I’m going to escape the horror that I’m suddenly trapped into because much like them, the only performance I know is the concerts I do when I’m inside the shower. Jam Night happens only once a month and it happens when everyone in our organization is free – which rarely happens because of our busy schedules.
I was thinking twice whether or not I should grab the microphone but since my friends wanted me to sing and the fact that Jam Night happens only once a month, I mustered up all the confidence I had left and finally grabbed the microphone. Whenever people ask me to sing, I always run out of ideas. It always seems like the music player inside my head is always being reformatted.
I stood there, with no song in mind – I hate moments like this, moments where I completely embarrass myself in front of other people and I realize that my hand is actually shaking and my whole body is trembling in fear. I always feared rejection and the fact that people will not like me for what I am outside because that’s how people go, they judge you for how you look like or the way you dress yourself.
So after two painful minutes of thinking, I finally came up with a song.
“I’ll sing ‘Why’ by Avril Lavigne.” I say.
“I’ll play guitars for you.” my friend said.
“And I’ll be in charge of the beat box.” my other friend said.
“Aja! Let’s do this!”
My hands started shaking when the guitars started to play. There was about ten seconds before I had to sing so I inhaled and exhaled as much air as I could. Then when I started singing, four of my co-org mates went inside the room – specifically, they’re the boys who make girls kilig and I was surprised that they brought someone new. He looked familiar but my mind couldn’t recall where I saw him. I continued singing because I didn’t want to ruin my so-called performance.
The four boys decided to sit down at the back and while they were sitting down, they were talking about something else and weren’t listening to my song but the new guy decided to sit at the leftmost corner of the room, he was with the boys but I had no idea why he decided to sit there.
I was in the middle of my song when I shifted my eyes from my friends to the sight of the new guy at the corner of the room. I didn’t realize that he was actually staring at me not until my best friend smiled back at me, as if she knew what was running through my mind. He was listening to my song, my voice. It seemed as if he was really interested. My hands stopped shaking when his expression changed from the way he looked like he was examining my whole face to a sweet subtle smile.
“Thank you, guys.” I ended the song with a big smile on my face.
My friends called me back to where they were and because they’re real friends, they gave such wonderful comments. Sometimes, I don’t know if I’m really good at this or my friends are really just good in sugar coating everything that’s happening in our relationships. I’d like to think I’m actually good at this.
“I saw you smiling back at me.” I told my best friend.
“Why wouldn’t I? You were actually good.” she answered.
“Drop it, Bes. Really now, why?” I asked her.
“Well… I saw the new guy staring at you.” she answered.
She really is my best friend. Our minds and our intestines seem like they’re combined. I can’t be without her and she can’t be without me. She’s one of the blessings I’m actually thankful for and while we were talking about random stuff that happened day ago, I glance back to where he was when I was performing and they weren’t there anymore.
It was around 11 p.m. already and my sister was sending me text messages already so I told my friends that I had to go earlier. I took my purse, secured my car keys inside my pocket and headed outside. I didn’t expect the boys to be outside because I thought they went out earlier but they were there. I was already rushing so I didn’t notice if he was actually there but then I run into somebody. And it was him.
“Hi.” he said.
“Hello. So you’re the new guy?” I asked.
“Yup. I’m Ethan.” he answered.
“Erin.” we shake hands.
“You sang well tonight.” he said.
“Wow, thanks.” I answered.
“Do you sing?” I asked.
“Yeah. A bit.” he answered.
“That’s good. I need to go now. I’ll see you whenever.” I say.
“Okay, take care.” he said.
“I’d love to sing a duet with you next time.” he added.