Book butterflies

Tell The Wolves I’m home by Carol Brunt

“Maybe I was destined to forever fall in love with people I couldn’t have. Maybe there’s a whole assortment of impossible people waiting for me to find them. Waiting to make me feel the same impossibility over and over again.” 

Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore by Robin Sloan

“There is no immortality that is not built on friendship and work done with care. All the secrets in the world worth knowing are hiding in plain sight. [sic] Your life must be an open city, with all sorts of ways to wander in.”

The Age of Miracles by Karen Thomson Walker

“How much sweeter life would be if it all happened in reverse, if, after decades of disappointments, you finally arrived at an age when you had conceded nothing, when everything was possible.”

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Back for good. ♥

It’s been half a year since I last posted something on this little place. And I guess.. I will always come back to the place where I first started. Although this place is currently a mess with all the re-blogs, random posts with no tags and all that stuff, I still love it to bits and never will I try to let go of it again. I guess it was just right that I didn’t delete it.. at least, I have something to come back to. 

So while I was away, these happened.. 

• I finally conquered college. When I started this blog, I was a freshman and now, I am officially unemployed but God has been very gracious. Life is still amazing despite unemployment. :-)
• Mama broke two bones in her ankle when we were in Silang a month ago. But thank God, she’s doing fine now. 
• I kept a little blog for a while. eighteendaysaway. It had 50+ followers but I never really felt like they were interested with the things that I posted. So yeah, that’s basically why I went back here. Nikilosophy will always be home. ♥
• I recently volunteered for DVBS. I was a dance teacher! I, myself, could not believe I was assigned in music but I survived. The kids were so makulit but praise God, we were able to handle them. 
• I turned twenty two days ago. But I still feel like I’m thirteen, or twelve, perhaps. 
• I am actually wondering why I took up Journalism… when I hate writing news articles. #ironic #weird

So right this day, I am clueless as to where I am going to start or what I am supposed to do with my life. Nevertheless, I still am happy about what life has been bringing me. Joyful, even. ♥

So hello, Tumblr! I am back here. FOR GOOD. 

*no more turning back this time*

So…. I’ve decided.

To come back here. ♥

to the person who has inspired me in so many ways, this is for you:

• thank you endlessly for helping me adjust in my college life — for if it were not for you, i’d still be a wallflower, like how i was in high school. 
• thank you for being my senior. thank you for always being there when i had breaks that were longer than my hair. 
• thank you for always sticking up for me & although you joked about my height all the time, i like that you always stood as my big brother. 
• thank you for accompanying me during my interviews when we were still part of the school paper. i would never have done my dream interview if it were not for you. really, i would never have the courage to stand up for myself. 
• thank you for all the lunch breaks and the sit-ins you spent with me. i’d like to think that we’ve grown close through all those liempos, dumplings and gummy bears we ate. 
• thank you for the fights we had because if it were not for those fights, our friendship never would have grown stronger.
• thank you for watching cheesy and kiddie movies with me at the lance office! i know you enjoyed Monsters Inc. so much and we both know that you’re Sully & i’m Boo. :-)
• thank you for inspiring me to travel a lot & that i could do wonderful things with my camera. thank you for inspiring me to write & write whenever i don’t feel like it. thank you for adding up to the people who made me strong in such troubled times (like when my mom died), thank you for being there as well.
• thank you is an understatement to what i should be telling you. 
• thank you endlessly for all the love. may you continue to depend on God in all the things that you do because yep, you should know that we can do all things through Christ who will give us strength.
• a little tip from your little boo: people will come in & out of your life, they will either break you and make you stronger but in the end, put in mind that nothing will ever be permanent in this life, they will leave you, yes, but when they do, believe me, you will grow stronger and once another person comes in & knocks inside your heart, you will always be ready to love again. 
• aja, kuya John, you are loved. ♥

In Sync

I have been improving this amazing habit of waking up at 7 a.m. just to read and digest God’s Word and so far, the talks I’ve had with God - no matter how striking and piercing they are in my life - are just amazing and His timing is really perfect!

I remember a quote from Neal Maxwell and I quote “Faith in God includes faith in His timing.” and everytime I read the Love Letters He has for me, instead of closing it because I’ve been badly hit in the gut, I continue reading and accept everything with an open mind & an open heart.

If you have been reading my blog, you’d notice that I have been spiritually down for the past months due to what has been happening in my life (my relationships & my ministry). I’d like to think of it as a test of my own faith because I could say that I have improved (a little bit) and yes, I am boasting because the Lord has been very, very gracious and patient with me.

And here’s what I’ve been learning/reminded of, so far:

•”People who accept discipline are on the pathway to life but those who ignore correction will go astray.” -Proverbs 10:17 - This hit me so hard when I did my first morning quiet time. Really, I’ve been neglecting all the encouragements/lessons God has been giving me through the people around me but I can’t believe that one sentence could hit me so hard. The Lord is amazing!!

•”God’s power is made perfect in weakness” -2 Corinthians 12:9b - His grace is sufficient and my weaknesses won’t make God love me less. I am honored, and I am loved.

•God’s wonderful grace doesn’t mean we should keep on sinning but rather, sin should have no power over us anymore because Christ has already redeemed us.

•Obeying God will lead you to righteous living.

•You are alive to God through Christ.

•As a servant of Christ, I must be nourished and trained in God’s Word so that I will be able to fulfill the mission God has given me.

•God should be the center of my worship. Not the songs, not the messages and most importantly, not the people around me. I should acknowledge that God is the Only Source of my knowledge. Refocus!

•”Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them.”

•God will reward me with progress and that I should keep in tune with God’s Word for the benefit of my own salvation and for those who will witness my life.

•”…what is important is faith expressing itself in love.” -Galatians 5:6

My deepest struggle was that I found it hard to love others and I compared myself to a lot of people who have greater faith than mine but God has reminded me that He should be the center of my life, not the people around me. And if God loved even the criminals in His time then I should learn how to love even those who are hard to love.

My boyfriend and I have been improving in our faith (and in our relationship as well). For some of you, specifically those on Twitter, might have noticed that there are people who wanted us to break up because they told us that it “hinders” our relationship with God but after weeks of thinking and praying about it, we have been doing simultaeneous devotions & we have been praying together. And so far, the walk has been amazing! I don’t want to prove anybody wrong but I’m just gonna leave everything to God.

Life has been extremely amazing, I tell you. I pray you’d get to experience all of this as well. May God bless you and keep you. :)

“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” -2 Corinthians 12:9♥

Surrendering all my worries, my doubts, my fears and my weaknesses. We can do this, Lord. ☼